I am on an endless search for answers to questions that relentlessly assail my mind. As a commercial photographer for close to a decade I continually tried to put into visuals that which was going on in my head, express the emotions, visions, desires. Nothing clicked. It always felt like something was, just, almost. The purity of expression that I so desired eluded me. To describe it as frustration would be an understatement, more like molten lead in my gut.
On a lonely night in October 2017 something finally snapped. The boundaries of photography that I had placed cracked and something began to flow out. Rough, frustrated, oozing. I kicked away the limits I had placed upon myself and let loose. In a room with no windows I bega to be, me.
There is a lot still processing in my mind, and my technical skills desperately try to keep up as things come out. My art as of now is my story, a digestion of what was, hoping that I will some day be able to accept what is, and then hopefully what might be. I had turned a blind eye for so long to things that should be met head on.
All of what I do is very personal, my story. There are moments of clarity where I pull myself up and out of my maelstrom to answer larger questions, but for the most part I am in the suck. For me, for now, that is ok. My art as I do it helps me to define myself, to shine light in the dark places, to find the warmth of life that is buried deep.
Self-taught, I am always learning, open to the wisdom of those who have tread this path before me. Everything is an experiment, an attempt to do, an attempt to find a definition. I move at break-neck speed, in this weird place of knowing that I am repeating the many mistakes of old, yet, in that awareness, fixing what I can when I can.
I paint, I draw, I sculpt, I do whatever pops into my mind, when I can. I feel that there is no limit once you understand what creativity is. The limitations I feel around me are just lessons on how to make things work, to make me appreciate what is, and, given the right moves, what could be.